Friday, February 24, 2006

OCEAN'S 13?

They love saying it. ''Britain's biggest cash robbery''. For those of you who are not familiar with this story, a van containing £50 million of your English pounds was stolen this week.
The ''daring heist'' was ''masterminded'' by a gang of ''brilliant'' criminals who had pulled off possibly the ''robbery of the century''.
For those of you unlucky enough to be too poor to know what £50 million in bank notes looks like, if you piled it one (£50) note on top of each other it would tower 13 storeys high.
Though armed robbery is a bit naughty, we all agree that it beats working. But if you've read Scott B. Smith's A Simple Plan (or even seen the movie with Billy Bob Thornton) it's easy to understand that the best thing to do when you come into a lot of illegal cash is to lay low a while.
Don't turn up in a Rolls Royce to your council estate bedsit chucking £50 notes out the window with The Clash's ''I FOUGHT THE LAW'' blasting out the window.
Additionally the notes were stolen from Tonbridge in Kent. Years in the planning. Inside job. Masterminded. Daring. Sensational. Etc. Etc. Etc.
It took just 48 hours for a woman to walk into a London bank with £6,000 in brand new £50 notes with ''Tonbridge'' wrapped around them trying to open an account.
What a fucking twat.

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"THEY ARE PISSING IN OUR BOOTS AND TELLING US IT'S RAINING" 

-------MY COPY IS YOUR RIGHT E.R. 2006------- 

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