TIMMY!

Thank fuck for that. Tim Henman is no longer Britain's number one tennis player. Let's hope him and all those fucking stupid ageing middle class women that follow him fuck off once and for all.
How long has it been since that arse-wiping wanker became Britain's number one? I don't even like tennis, but boy do I hate HENMANIA. What does it mean? Let's examine the evidence...
BEATLEMANIA - Ah yes, that's right. Generally considered the greatest pop band ever. Sold a lot of records. Millions of fans worldwide going mental. Britain's biggest ever recording artists. Number One. John Lennon. Paul McCartney. Beatlemania seems pretty fair.
POTTERMANIA - Now, I think Harry Potter is crap, but it's sold a few billion copies worldwide so again, fair enough.
BECKHAMANIA - Well in Japan they made a statue of him out of chocolate. Seems pretty manic.
HENMANIA - Fist-clenching posh boy with yellow teeth that your mum wants you to bring home (er, unless you're a boy too) who has won fuck all. FUCK ALL. NOT ONE FUCKING THING. Now fuck off. And take those ugly childless women under the tent outside Wimbledon Tennis Club with you.