BIRDS THROWN OUT ON THE STREET AND TOLD NOT TO COME BACK. EVER.

''Who's a pretty boy then, achoo!''
If you do hear this on the way to work, your luck probably isn't in.
Instead you've probably been chatted up by one of the thousands of once-caged birds that will be liberated by their owners - because they are scared of catching bird flu.
Warwickshire Wildlife Sanctuary has collected 12 budgies, cockatiels and lovebirds in the past week, and hundreds more are expected when the avian flu hits UK soil.
I can't decide whether it's pathetic that the owners are chucking them out, or pleased the birds get to see a bit of action rather than have to watch Countdown and Deal or No Deal and bang their head against a mirror every day. Probably bit colder at night than they are used to.
If you look carefully in the picture above, you'll spot one in the trees of south east London near E.R.