JOIN THE BRITISH ARMY
* Travel the world and get a uniform
* Be bullied and watch your friends commit suicide in training
(4 soldiers at the notorious UK Deepcut barracks committed suicide. There will be no criminal inquiry into how one solidier managed to commit suicide by shooting himself in the head - TWICE).
* Go through bizarre bonding rituals including grappling naked with your colleagues in mud and shaving foam.
* Get given broken or patched up equipment
* Don't get given a sattelite phone (even when they are available) and then die in an Iraqi ambush.
* Kick the shit out of unarmed foreign teenagers
* Humiliate your enemy in jail and learn new photographic composition techniques from your American cousins
* Never see either of those royal cunts William and Harry that are alledgedly comrades in arms
* Fight illegal wars
* Er, did we mention the travel the world bit and the uniform? Then we're done.
posted by ENGLISH RANTER at Saturday, April 01, 2006
3 Comments:
like the fact that they have given the chinless wonder a pink tabbard to wear, hope they let him keep it to wear on the front line!
like they will ever fucking be there! i still remember andrew in the falklands, do you really believe the royal family would let him be so close to the blood and guts of front line action?
not me!
I see that you are an enthusiast of the "undeclared" war declared by my dear "president", Alfred E. Newman-Bush.
I was a participant in our last undeclared war, a Communist country we didn't save from Communism called Vietnam. I thank God I didn't have to torture, maim, kill, or generally have fun with the "enemy".
Our Army too is in dire straights, both equipment and body-wise. We have used up all the civilian clerks, so we need to re-body before we can attack Iran. Corporate profits must go on, you know.
And the see the world bit? They never send you anyplace good, like Tahiti or the nude beaches in the south of France.
Yeah...they keep on kidding us there's someone out there to fight year after year...on all sides. Welcome Admiral!
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