ABC NEWS: ASKING QUESTIONS ONLY PEOPLE WITH THEIR HEAD UP THEIR ARSE NEED THE ANSWERS TO (but in case you are one of them, read on...)
"And so we ask: What's with the high gas prices? And is it going to get better, or worse?"
Ok so here it is - and this is not what they told you on ABC news:
1. You started an illegal war with one of the world's biggest oil producers, and the country is now in tatters and approaching civil war. Your soldiers have killed more civilians than Saddam managed in 30 years. Consequently the odds of any oil coming America's way even if they do sort the place out are slim.
2. Some people think you will do the same to the country next door.
3. Communism, a system you maintained could never work, has pulled 400 million people out of poverty in China, and their funny wonky money is just as valid as your precious greenback. They ain't very rich, but they soon will be, there are a billion of them, and their economy is growing at 40%. There are a quarter of a billion of you, and your economy is growing at 4%.
They also are making friends with the world's biggest oil producers, while you are making war.
4. Nigeria, another major oil producer, is also on the brink of civil war, not great for supply (which drives up price, economics fans, geddit?).
5. This is the big one. IT'S FUCKING RUNNING OUT YOU TWATS. Dr Johnson once said people should invest in land "because it's the one thing they're not making any more of." The same could be said of oil.
Which is why oil companies sponsored a war-mongering-monkey into office (and you lot voted for him, haha), so that their shares in the little oil they own would jump through the roof and make you lot pay through the nose at the gas pumps, or whatever you call them over there.
Last year oil companies returned tax breaks given to them by Bush for exploration because there isn't any left to look for.
No matter how much war you make, how many countries you fuck up, it is running out.
And when things run out, they get more expensive.
Get used to it.
Ok I'm done.
(And so are you.)