QUEEN "WILL NEVER ABDICATE" - OFFICIAL (obviously she'd kill herself if she had to see Camilla on the throne)
"It's a job for life," said posh old dear Rt Hon Margaret Rhodes about the scumsucking role. And so it is.
The only way you get sacked is revolution, let's face it.
And we haven't looked like having one of them recently.
Or ever come to think of it.
Talk of her future is abound because this year, once again paid for by us, the queen is celebrating a birthday - her 80th. Today she had a "party" with other 80-year-olds born on the same day at that manor of the insipid class-maintained fuckwits that is Buckingham Palace.
The guests we were assured were ordinary people. Yeah I saw.
The place must of smelt of medication, stale piss, smoked salmon and eau de crabtree and evelyn.
All washed down with the finest sherry, of course.
This absolutely is a change of plan by the Queen, who in no way was planning to give it the old pope-style exit. But she just doesn't wanna see that old slag Charles' has plumped for Queen-it-up for one single day. Abdication is the dignity of running your own shop. I'm pleased it's all fucked up.
Bit of luck she'll go gaga but live to a 130 and we'll only see pictures of our monarch when they've wiped the dribble of her face and she hasn't shat her own pants.