Scientists prove talking mundane bollocks like a complete and utter cunt is best way to get laid

Researchers at Edinburgh University studied speed daters and got them to try out a series of chat up lines to see which received the most positive reaction when used on women and men.
Professor Richard Wiseman, in charge of the project, describes the perfect opening question as one which "enables the person being asked to see themselves in a new and creative way, and yet will avoid conflict."
Wow those must be some questions.
Realising that E.R. couldn't think of anything interesting that might fit the bill, it investigated further.
What could these perfect shag-inducing, heart-melting, memorable and 'my-you-are-intringuing-you-must-take-my-pants-off' questions possibly be?
"We have found two that work very well." continued Professor Wiseman.
E.R. could hardly wait to hear.
This would surely be the solution to breaking the ice across the nation, possibly between continents.
A perfect unbeatable chat up line available to both sexes could bring down barriers between icy unconfident singletons everywhere.
People could begin to communicate, to enrich their lives with each other, to love.
The survey covered an age range of 22 to 42 years old.
So what were the two lines that worked best?
"Asking people what their favourite pizza topping was, or which celebrity they'd be if they appeared on Stars In Their Eyes".
Oh, cock.