WELCOME TO THE UK'S McDONALD'S DEMOCRACY. WELCOME TO BLAMERON.
American readers might not know this, but the generation English Ranter is from used to think this:
"Oh well, our political system is shit, but at least it's not like Russia, where they don't have a choice, or America, where they think they have choice but in fact they are being sold the same old wank in two different colours".
Well, unfortunately, now it's our turn.
It feels like choosing between George Bush Senior and George Bush Junior. One you know has been a cunt, the other one is just waiting for his place in history to be even more of a cunt now that it's his turn.
On the left is David Cameron, the newish Conservative leader who is electable because he rides a pedal bike and talks to poor people. His money, however, is invested in Complete Cunts Inc., and that should always be remembered.
On the right, we have Tony Blair, a man who made a living out of selling his ideals for his career. He licked America's 9/11 wounds as though they were his own, and his religious zealour has led us to an illegal war that funds oil share prices and the Republican party.
British politics has merged to an insipid middle ground, now, to be remembered in history forever as Blameron (pronounced blammeron).
I'm not even going to justify what they stand for by telling you about either of them. All I would say is that they are to politics, what McDonalds are to food.
Yes, now they sell salads.
But they are still cunts.