NEW! E.R.'S UK CONSUME.R. GUIDE: THIS WEEK: PRIVATE CANCER INSURANCE
Welcome to the E.R. CONSUME.R. GUIDE - a new series where E.R. gives consumers the answers they need to know about new products arriving in the UK - all in less than the time it takes to have a shit.
Following recent publicity about the funding of cancer treatments, many insurers, including Virgin, are offering specialist insurance policies. To find out if one is right for you, then follow this simple guide.
1. Have you given your potential insurer your honest family health history and your own medical records?
YES/NO.
2. Can you afford the quote for insurance given to you?
YES/NO.
If the answer to both questions is YES, then do not buy the insurance. It's good news. The likelyhood is that you will not be getting cancer, or if you do your brain will have already turned to mush and you will be 127 years old, or any treatment you require will be available via the NHS. You are as fit as a whistle and your family are as strong as a herd of Oxen. Spend the money on fruit and veg.
If the answer to question 1 is YES, and question 2 is NO, then there is a chance you might get cancer before your brain turns to mush, but since you can't afford the insurance anyway, no point worrying. Spend what you can afford on fruit and veg.
If the answer to question 1 is NO and question 2 is YES, then either you've lied, which means they won't pay out when you get it, or if you read your health insurance small print, you're only covered for a rare form of cancer so far found only in the canine teeth of Himalayan tea monkeys. Spend the money on fruit and veg.
E.R. - putting the consumer first and you knows it.
Which toaster is good for crumpet? Can I buy a computer that's safe to use in the bath? I bought a stereo for £9.99 but the extended guarantee cost me £300. Did I do good?
If you've got a question about a new service or product, write to englishranter@aol.com and I will investigate it for you.
Following recent publicity about the funding of cancer treatments, many insurers, including Virgin, are offering specialist insurance policies. To find out if one is right for you, then follow this simple guide.
1. Have you given your potential insurer your honest family health history and your own medical records?
YES/NO.
2. Can you afford the quote for insurance given to you?
YES/NO.
If the answer to both questions is YES, then do not buy the insurance. It's good news. The likelyhood is that you will not be getting cancer, or if you do your brain will have already turned to mush and you will be 127 years old, or any treatment you require will be available via the NHS. You are as fit as a whistle and your family are as strong as a herd of Oxen. Spend the money on fruit and veg.
If the answer to question 1 is YES, and question 2 is NO, then there is a chance you might get cancer before your brain turns to mush, but since you can't afford the insurance anyway, no point worrying. Spend what you can afford on fruit and veg.
If the answer to question 1 is NO and question 2 is YES, then either you've lied, which means they won't pay out when you get it, or if you read your health insurance small print, you're only covered for a rare form of cancer so far found only in the canine teeth of Himalayan tea monkeys. Spend the money on fruit and veg.
E.R. - putting the consumer first and you knows it.
Which toaster is good for crumpet? Can I buy a computer that's safe to use in the bath? I bought a stereo for £9.99 but the extended guarantee cost me £300. Did I do good?
If you've got a question about a new service or product, write to englishranter@aol.com and I will investigate it for you.
posted by ENGLISH RANTER at Friday, May 12, 2006
1 Comments:
will u b chargin 4 tha service heheheh
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