The successful candidate for this high profile role will have the following qualities:
* The ability to dodge bullets
* A mistrust of anyone in uniform
* Look good on camera
* A love of dictators
* A short memory
* A death wish
* The ability to cope with clients losing weight
* A desire to never work in the U.S.A.
Previous applicants should apply, as we're running a bit short of candidates.
Applications by email to: