ARCHER HOME ''VICTIM'' OF GREAT GRAFFITI TRAIN VANDAL

Vandals today sent a message to airbourne passengers passing what looked like Jeffrey Archer's model home.
The Vicarage, in Grantchester, is home FLJA and his fragrant wife Mary. A model of the home is owned by Archer, and was featured in today's Guardian as one of his most treasured ''possessions''.
Speaking exclusively to E.R., the vandal involved, found still holding a ballpoint on a train passing through Norwood Junction, told us: ''It's unlikely that I'll get in trouble. All I've done is deface a national newspaper. You should try it sometime.'' And with that, he left, alighting at Sydenham.
The newspaper said it was ''unlikely'' it would apologise to FLJA about the ''vandalism'', since it couldn't be held responsible for its readers actions otherwise they'd be in all kinds of trouble ''every day'', ''apparently''.