CELEBRITY IS DEAD (Somebody tell Davina)
The BBC's attempt to turn Davina into Terry Wogan are succeeding... at this rate she'll have the same amount of viewers on BBC1 prime time as the old Irish fat duffer does in his UK Gold repeats cable show.
Hardly surprising when her last ''big name'' - that Sky breakfast presenter and general Man U bore Eamonn Holmes - spent the show slagging off GMTV. It was painful, like watching someone have a slow long shit live on tv.
Celebrity interviews are dead unless you a) take the piss out of them or have been out on the piss with them (like Rossy, sometimes), or b) don't interview them, just listen to them when they aren't looking (like, duh... Celebrity Big Brother).
The rest is TV vanilla that even a flake like Davina can't bring back to life...
posted by ENGLISH RANTER at Monday, March 13, 2006
5 Comments:
I would love to see a tv show with celebrities having long slow shits. Saying that, the way things are going it will probably appear on itv soon.
Celebrity shitting with Cilla Black.
Ooh...what about Victoria Beckham?
How about a celebrity-health crossover... name that poop. First half hour is edited highlights of 5 celebrities having a shit.
After the break, that scottish freak health guru Gillian McKeith comes in and has to say which celebrity did which shit just by sniffing them.
Viewers get a chance to guess too, via text or the red button on tv, at 25p a shot, with the winner being invited in the following week to sniff the celebrities' shit and win cash.
Then McKeith tells them all to eat aduki beans or brocolli soup, depending on their faecal deficiencies. She makes her guess, winning £5k for charity with every correct guess.
Following week, they do the whole show again and she tells them if their shit is any better. Then the member of the public that won the competition, they get to come in and sniff the shit, and for every shit they guess they get a grand.
Get me ITV on the phone...
they've got my money!
The problem is that we now know everything about celebrities. If one of them has constipation, they do a double page spread in OK! Plus in the 50s - the golden age of real celebs, they seemed un-touchable and somehow flawless...but now that we have non-celebs like reality TV stars who aren't really famous for anything, they are just like us...therefore not really interesting. Plus we have seen half of these people shitting on Big Brother, so really what more do you want to know about somebody after that...?
Davina's show is piss poor, but even the awkwardness of that pales into significance next to the car crash TV that was Chris Evan's ITV comeback a couple of months ago. He had his ex-wife Billie Piper on, who is now happily shacked up with a new boyfriend...but Evans was playing the clip from TFI Friday when they first met, with "Love is a many splendid thing" played over it. Piper looked like a trapped animal. Excruciating.
Post a Comment
Links to this post:
Create a Link
<< Home