Monday, March 13, 2006

CELEBRITY IS DEAD (Somebody tell Davina)


The BBC's attempt to turn Davina into Terry Wogan are succeeding... at this rate she'll have the same amount of viewers on BBC1 prime time as the old Irish fat duffer does in his UK Gold repeats cable show.
Hardly surprising when her last ''big name'' - that Sky breakfast presenter and general Man U bore Eamonn Holmes - spent the show slagging off GMTV. It was painful, like watching someone have a slow long shit live on tv.
Celebrity interviews are dead unless you a) take the piss out of them or have been out on the piss with them (like Rossy, sometimes), or b) don't interview them, just listen to them when they aren't looking (like, duh... Celebrity Big Brother).
The rest is TV vanilla that even a flake like Davina can't bring back to life...

3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I would love to see a tv show with celebrities having long slow shits. Saying that, the way things are going it will probably appear on itv soon.
Celebrity shitting with Cilla Black.

March 13, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ooh...what about Victoria Beckham?

March 13, 2006  
Blogger ENGLISH RANTER said...

How about a celebrity-health crossover... name that poop. First half hour is edited highlights of 5 celebrities having a shit.
After the break, that scottish freak health guru Gillian McKeith comes in and has to say which celebrity did which shit just by sniffing them.
Viewers get a chance to guess too, via text or the red button on tv, at 25p a shot, with the winner being invited in the following week to sniff the celebrities' shit and win cash.
Then McKeith tells them all to eat aduki beans or brocolli soup, depending on their faecal deficiencies. She makes her guess, winning £5k for charity with every correct guess.
Following week, they do the whole show again and she tells them if their shit is any better. Then the member of the public that won the competition, they get to come in and sniff the shit, and for every shit they guess they get a grand.
Get me ITV on the phone...

March 13, 2006  

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"THEY ARE PISSING IN OUR BOOTS AND TELLING US IT'S RAINING" 

-------MY COPY IS YOUR RIGHT E.R. 2006------- 

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