9 Monday-morning office greetings to say to your boss if you really want them to leave you alone today
1. "I eat my own poo."
2. "From now on I want you to call me Emily." (if you're a man)
3. "From now on I want you to call me Kevin." (if you're a woman)
4. "My dog wouldn't stop howling all weekend. I'm not sure it likes me fist-fucking it."
5. "I'll do that thing straight after I've had a wank in the loo"
6. "I'm in such a good mood. My cock was so hard over the weekend I finally picked up channel 5 on my TV" (you can use this one if you're a man or woman)
7. "I'm not so sure about this thing about murder being bad. I did it yesterday and it felt really good."
8. "Morning! I've got a knife in my pocket!"
9. "My boyfriend is really getting to know me better. He fucked me wearing a donald duck mask and wellingtons this morning."
Anyone got any ideas for a 10th?
2. "From now on I want you to call me Emily." (if you're a man)
3. "From now on I want you to call me Kevin." (if you're a woman)
4. "My dog wouldn't stop howling all weekend. I'm not sure it likes me fist-fucking it."
5. "I'll do that thing straight after I've had a wank in the loo"
6. "I'm in such a good mood. My cock was so hard over the weekend I finally picked up channel 5 on my TV" (you can use this one if you're a man or woman)
7. "I'm not so sure about this thing about murder being bad. I did it yesterday and it felt really good."
8. "Morning! I've got a knife in my pocket!"
9. "My boyfriend is really getting to know me better. He fucked me wearing a donald duck mask and wellingtons this morning."
Anyone got any ideas for a 10th?
posted by ENGLISH RANTER at Monday, April 24, 2006
7 Comments:
Thanks for that -- very funny, and VERY useful. I’ve been trying for years to come up with ways to get my boss to not bother me on Mondays and every other day as well, which is very depressing because I’m self-employed. What can I say? I have issues.
10. I think George Bush is a terrific president! I'm going to name my firstborn after him...
10. "I've got problems 'down below'. You know, Ladies' Problems. It's my ... time of the month."
Works very well on male bosses if you are a lady, but also serves to perplex if said by a man. Highly recommended.
10. Is it possible to catch the AIDS just from talking to someone? No? OK fire away then, you should be fine.
10. I just found out I pregnant and I'm carrying twin girls!!(If you are a man)
10. I just found out I have a penis! (If you are a woman)
PS. Re: Earth is the insane asylum for the universe. The drug cabinet is on the moon. They won't trust us with it down here, the bastards.
10. if you don't piss off out of my face right now, i am going to pull your head off and fuck the hole.
best said with a hangover!
I have a rabbit up my ass.
Post a Comment
<< Home