9 Monday-morning office greetings to say to your boss if you really want them to leave you alone today
2. "From now on I want you to call me Emily." (if you're a man)
3. "From now on I want you to call me Kevin." (if you're a woman)
4. "My dog wouldn't stop howling all weekend. I'm not sure it likes me fist-fucking it."
5. "I'll do that thing straight after I've had a wank in the loo"
6. "I'm in such a good mood. My cock was so hard over the weekend I finally picked up channel 5 on my TV" (you can use this one if you're a man or woman)
7. "I'm not so sure about this thing about murder being bad. I did it yesterday and it felt really good."
8. "Morning! I've got a knife in my pocket!"
9. "My boyfriend is really getting to know me better. He fucked me wearing a donald duck mask and wellingtons this morning."
Anyone got any ideas for a 10th?