David Beckham's Shocking Sums Revelation: ''I'm not the maths genius you think I am''

The football world has been brought to its knees today with the news that David Beckham ''isn't very good at maths''.
The Real Madrid superstar who earns an estimated £120,000 a week, has admitted shamefully to the press: ''Sometimes I find my son's homework difficult.''

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His six-year-old son's homework has included such mind-boggling brain teasers as 15 minus 11.
News spread fast around football, and shocked faces of disbelief were to be seen in dressing rooms up and down the country. The Blackburn vs Arsenal match kick-off was delayed as players close to tears took a moment to compose themselves at the news that David Beckham isn't very good at math.

gas bill

But one person who couldn't be hurt more by the news is David's long time team-mate and Manchester United pal Gary Neville:
''I'm shocked. I'm finding the news hard to take'', said Gary, fighting back the tears from his £15 million mock tudor mansion in Chester. ''When we lived together David used to pay the bills. When he said I owed him a fiver for the gas, I trusted him. Now I realise he just may have been making it all up, and in fact I owed him £4.40.''
But it wasn't just the bills that Gary reflected on. ''I used to ask him the score at half time in the Manchester United dressing room. We all did. Even the gaffer. Now I know the truth. When he said it was 1-1 and we needed one more goal, he was just guessing and playing it safe.''
Alex Ferguson issued this simple statement. ''I feel betrayed.''

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''He's a master of disguise,'' spoke Steven Hawking. ''When I met him on Parkinson I asked him if he'd read any of my books. I was suspicious when he replied 'yes, I've read hundreds of them,' but I thought he was just a big fan. Its apparent now, that despite all appearances, he's not very good at mathematics at all.''
More shock football revelations are about to follow. Robbie Fowler's reputation for being good at crochet and Didier Drogba's biscuit baking are both hinted to be the next under the microscope.