GLASS OF WINE ARRESTED FOR BEING ''HALF EMPTY''

Police today raided the E.R. offices after claims that it contained a ''half-empty'' glass of wine.
Authorities were concerned that the British legal system didn't have enough to waste a load of fucking time on, and that the argument about the glass should keep them and a load of other overpaid cunts in clover for the forseeable future.
What with banning our Mayor from office, arguments about Dan Brown's shite books, and nicking pop stars for having a spliff, and a load of other shite cases that matters not a fuck, it was expected that the glass would appear in court sometime in 2007.
''It's definitely half-full,'' said an officer taking it from the offices. ''See you in court.''
Cheers.