Hobnob eating slipper wearers that listen to CDs are new subversive consumers

The government's new monthly ''shopping basket'', which is used to judge inflation and consumer trends, will no longer include slippers, chocolate covered biscuits or CD players.

These goods are too peripheral to be part of the lives of typical Britons, as MP3 players, i-pods, quick-fit-fitters, digital downloads, camcorders, flatscreen tvs, wineboxes, menthol cigarettes (presumably because they go well with weed), night club lager, and cafe meals take their place.

So if you wear slippers, eat chocolate hobnobs and play CDs, even Chris De Berk, you're off the radar.