BRAND SPECIAL: AL QUAEDA MISS A CHANCE TO IMPROVE THEIRS

Where are those suicide bombers when you need one?
Imagine if the two of them had sex.
It'd be like some 1930s Polish horror movie about freaks set in a circus.

BRAND SPECIAL: KFC IMAGE IS FIRST BRAND VISIBLE FROM SPACE

Obviously looking for a new alien market after earthlings discovered that KFC is inhumane, disgusting, unhealthy crap in a box.

BRAND SPECIAL: COKE ZERO A HUGE SUCCESS

Named after the fucking losers that drink it.

BRAND SPECIAL: CADBURYS PULL OUT OF CORONATION STREET SPONSORSHIP

Cadburys is now aiming for a more upmarket audience after poisoning hundreds of working class people by knowingly selling them chocolate containing faeces. (See post from July 4 for details).