NEW DAYTIME TV SHOW ANNOUNCED: THROUGH THE C-HOLE

Q: Who would live in a house like this?

A: Who cares. They're bound to be a cunt. etc.

TONY BLAIR IN HILARIOUS COMIC RELIEF SKETCH

I cant be arsed to post the video and it's two weeks old anyway. Just type in Tony Blair Comic Relief into you tube if you didn't see it.
Bovvered Tony? Bovvered? Bovvered about the war? Bovvered about the 500,000+ dead Iraqi civilians? Bovvered about the 2 million people who took the streets (unlike the one million that signed an online petition about road charges)? Bovvered about your move from negative liberty to positive liberty (ie the one that determines whether you decide to murder - bit like Stalin)? Bovvered about the targets you set hospitals that meant managers were able to call corridors wards, or take the wheels off trolleys and call them beds? Bovvered about the highest prison population Britain has ever seen (tackling the causes of crime?)? Bovvered about abandoning beliefs in politics and deciding it's up to God? Bovvered about setting targets for schools with classes containing kids speaking 16 different native languages (it's not the mix that's the problem - it's the default term of failure if mixing doesn't reach a target)? Bovvered about renewing Trident and breaking the nuclear proliferation laws you once signed up to? Bovvered about bombing one nation for being Muslim fundamentalists while licking Saudi Arabia's archaic monarchistic arse?
Bovvered about selling us out Tony?
Bovvered?
Do you look Bovvered?
No mate, you do not.

LANDED GENTRY IN POVERTY SCANDAL

There's nothing like some cunt sitting at home eating bourgouis organic food in a central heated house with egyptian cotton sheets and fine wine from across the globe imported into their cupboard moaning about how fucking poor they are.

Well actually there is. There's the cunt that owns the house that the some cunt sits in, charging rent each month, creating not only a profit of 30% on their investment on the mortgage payments alone, not withstanding the increase in property prices running in London at approx 12% per year for the past 12 years, which means that every £100 rent they receive makes them roughly £142. So with a one-bedroom flat in town costing about £1000 a month, and the average property worth £250,000, that's £32k, tax free, per year.

So while that poor owning bastard happily see the profit on their investment double every six years, he also uses the profit in rent to fund another housing investment that they sit in, which of course has to be bigger than the rented place (after all who's the fucking boss here?) but also means that while none of the capital is realised or liquid - IT IS FUCKING CAPITAL.

So the next time the wanker with the over extended mortgage (paid for by your rent) and the two properties, and the car, and the family, and the shares in Nescafe and Esso, tells you how tough it is to be them. CHECK IF THEY HAVE BUILDING INSURANCE, AND IF THEY DON'T BURN THEIR FUCKING HOUSE DOWN. Then at least when they make you homeless, it will have been for a reason.