A good day to bury bad news

Maggie, I wish I'd never seen your face.

FLORIDA QUR'AN BURNING LATEST

Allah gets last laugh as gasoline rather than the intended holy water is used to put out burning book

POLITICAL GENDER BOMBSHELL: LEAD SINGER OF BRONSKI BEAT SAYS HE'S MARRIED, STRAIGHT, RIGHT WING AND GRIEVING

Not sure if I've got that exactly right.

I SMELL BULLSHIT

A very few people you don't want to know burn a book. A lot of people you don't know at all get offended. To be honest, those most offended you don't want to know either. Just watch how this pointless play within a play is spewed out over newscasts, newspapers, TV and radio in the next few days. All about people you don't want to know. But you might have to fight for.

2011: JOEY BARTON REGRETS MAKING PROMISE HE'D KEEP HIS MOUSTACHE UNTIL NEWCASTLE'S NEXT WIN

EXCLUSIVE: "GROUND ZERO MOSQUE" ARCHITECTS REVEAL FIRST SKETCHES

Hmm, I can see why that might upset a few people.

CHERNOBYL - THE GIFT THAT KEEPS ON GIVING

I suspect that this girl hasn't forgotten the word Chernobyl, so it was interesting to hear today that the nuclear leak from the Russian power station meltdown 24 years ago was back in the news. She was one of numerous deformed children born after the disaster, cared for at the Rechitsa orphanage in Belarus, the area worst hit by the radiation leak all those years ago.

But when it comes to nuclear leaks, the phrase "all those years ago" in a human context is so badly out of place, as the fires in Russia today reached areas still riddled with radiation - and throwing plumes of radioactive ash back into the air, spreading the poison hundreds of miles across Europe once again.

Just as I reported on this blog four years ago, cancers from the leak have killed 20,000 people in the UK alone. But alas, the war on terror is still in place, but the war on nuclear power disappears in the usual bluster of political careers and a race to get rich before we die.

Energy Secretary Chris Huhne, one of those power-hungry Liberals who would rather put his head between his legs and sniff his own arse crack than look at himself in the mirror, has in recent weeks told the press there are communities in this country hungry for a new nuclear power stations, and is about to embark on the biggest nuclear programme the UK has ever seen.

UP YOURS! CONFUSED 64-YEAR-OLD SAYS BECKHAM IS TOO OLD FOR ENGLAND

If I'm not mistaken, retirement is a decision for the individual at 34, rather than the manager - especially for a job you don't get paid for.

Obviously being 30 years older than Beckham gives Capello  the excuse of being so confused that he was allowed to pick a fucking useless squad for the World Cup. In two years time his retirement will be compulsory in the UK, but only an organisation as inept as the FA could know this and extend his contract by five years.

Not only did Capello decide it was his right to say that Beckham had retired from English football without consulting England's most-capped player, he also thought it was a good idea to tell 6 million TV viewers first.

Afterwards, his alzheimers obviously prevented him from picking up the phone and dialling Beckham's number to even explain his words, so he got Baldini to do it instead.

What the fuck are we messing about with this cunt for? I don't care if he's any good, he's a wanker.

I don't care about DB, he's had enough luck to see him through, but this man is clearly a shitball with all the people skills of Stalin with a headache. Mussolini with the shits. Hitler with herpes.

Worse than that, he's making fat Sam Allardyce seem like a cuddly uncle.

OFFICIAL: BLOOD DIAMOND PARTIES ARE RUBBISH

Five ugly birds who never quite made it as models but are obviously packed with inner beauty, one bottle of booze, no one's got a fucking lighter even though they all smoke, the hostess is using Google to find out what happened 13 years ago because she was too pissed to remember, and I bet they are listening to Simply Red. That bloke in the shorts is telling the girls why a teepee is the must-have for their next Glamping trip. I've obviously got to be careful what I say because a court case is in process. Cunts.

PAY £40 TO BOO ENGLAND'S FOOTBALL TEAM AT WEMBLEY

How ridiculous. Only a true England supporter would do that.